Reclaiming our lives

Feeling both energized and depressive at the same time if possible. I'm so determined to make a positive change in our lives but at the same time I keep getting depressive due to others lack of interest. I know that might seem strange but let me set the scene a bit.

I started a homeschool group about 2yrs ago since there wasn't one in my area that I felt comfortable attending (religion was a bit deal in this) since that time I have devoted endless time, money and effort to the cause. During this time all I was hoping for was for my own children to enjoy and be interested in what we were doing and to have others to do things with. Niether has happened; I spend endless days and time arranging for trips, park days, parties, etc for both my child (J) and the rest of the group to only half heartedly attend and participate. Now if the other families did this but my boys showed interested and some exicitement about it all I would be happy but J doesn't seem to care at all and D can only particate so much at 3yrs old.

So, I'm sitting here unsure what to do next...do I give in and drop it all or do I continue on and hope for the best? I'm leaning toward niether...for I have continued on for 2yrs and it isn't getting better so it is time for action of some sort. I'm thinking that there needs to be many levels to this action to make sure all gets done. Need to sort out what to do with Scoop, J, D, and our family; all of these things are a bit off to me and I need to figure out how they are off and fix what I can. So, here are my thoughts on all of it.

Scoop is easier than the rest...I'm taking a step back. I will set everything up I intended to and I will get the flyers and stuff all done up and out but if no one registered I'm not going to worry about it like I have in the past. I figure if we get to Dec and there is very little particiation then I will step back completely and do only what is required for the remainer of the year and in June 2009 I will give up my office and move on.

D is another easy one...he isn't getting enough attention and what attention he is getting isn't quite right. What I mean is he is getting to do too many older kids things, watch older kids things and generally missing out on the joys of being young. We don't paint, do playdough, sing kiddy songs, etc. All the things he would so enjoy and we need to make sure he gets to do them. So, starting today we will do our very best to make it to storytime at the library every Friday. He aways loves going to storytime, J even seems to still enjoy it and it is a nice break for me. I also want to make sure we are doing at least one of the other "preschool" thing everyday (painting, coloring, drawing, play dough, sand, etc).

Our family is also not so hard to fix...we just need to do more hands on things as a family. No I don't mean yardwork, housework, watching TV or things like that. I mean we need to build things (tree house, go cart, etc) or do other "team building" activities for they are fun things to do and it help us appreciate each other more. For the holidays we got a book Dangerous Book for Boys it has so many cool projects to do and I think we are going to start with the go cart. It will be nice to have all of us working on something together. We are also starting to do more family music stuff, hiking, tai chi and other active things together.

Now for J which is the hardest one for me...he is a great kid and I love him dearly but he is too withdrawn. He doesn't seem to enjoy many things and when you ask him what he likes to do if he says anything it is a very short list. He seems disinterested in most things (school, outings, activities, friends, etc) but I know he has fun when he does them. I don't know if it is just how he seems or what but I'm not the only one that see the disinterest, everyone does. I want him to be jazzed about life, to go out and want to explorer things, to look for answers to questions what he wants answered, to activitly want to learn things. I figure the best way to start this with him is if I too show more of an interest in REAL life and not the life that happens through this box!

So, after two days of discussing this with everyone I think it is time to start acting and changing things. Today the kids and I have already done our tai chi and I plan to spend the rest of the day finding projects for us to do that doesn't include the computers or tvs! It is time to reclaim our lives!